Tuesday, April 26, 2016

I am officially breaking up with a rodent

Disclaimer: Do not read if you are in any way related to some form of PETA loving association as your heart will undoubtedly break.

We have had a mouse in our house for a couple of weeks and the shithead continues to elude our attempts at evicting him.  This mouse feels the need to hang out in Jon's bedroom (I mean who wouldn't want to) and ours.

We initially went the humane way and got the traps with poison in them for him to go and peacefully die in his home with his spouse next to him holding his paw.  He (I am assuming the shithead is a male) kicked over these traps in a "fuck you" kind of manner.

Next Jonathan and I purchased those 1912 traps that you put food in them to lure them in and then snap their necks (do you hear the diminishing level of care for how he dies in my text).  We tried cheese and the little fucker somehow removed the cheese and the trap did not go off in either of them.  Jon and I did research and decided to now upgrade to peanut butter as it is sticky and we loosened the tension in the traps and Satan reincarnated figured out how to take the peanut butter in one without the trap going off and knocked over the other.

I have not slept in two days as I can hear it raving in the house all night long and I have now declared war!!!  May the odds be ever in my favour.
I left my bank card for Boris to go and purchase me the electric traps for this mouse.  I want to hear his bones be hit with electrocution and I want to smell his burning hair.  Stay tuned as tonight, I hope is going to be a good sleep!!!!

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