Thursday, September 26, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Driving home today, I was really reminiscing about what fun I had on holidays with the love of my life. Boris is and always has been my rock! I couldn't do half of what I have accomplished without your love and support.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
I went for supper at The Blue Plate with Boris tonight and then we went for cookies to Duchess. I really cherish the time that is just between him and I.
I had a good night and had a nice talk with Jon. He is becoming such a young man. I don't want him to grow up anymore!
One of my favourite things to do is to tuck Owen in at night. No matter how psycho he is during the day, when he puts on his PJs and we each pick our favourite moment of the day...he makes my heart melt.
I am looking forward to Braden's football game on Sunday. Auntie Mel and Trina are coming too so it will be loads of fun!!
My half hour to myself tonight was writing poetry in my journal. Some days I just stare at the book and nothing comes to me and then there are nights like tonight that my feelings are released in short verses that flow and read like songs.
Speaking of songs...that new Bruno Mars song, Gorilla is terrible. What happened to good story telling lyrics?
I have to show you the great picture of Jon and Owen on their first day of school. First year and a senior in elementary. Where did the time go?
Monday, September 23, 2013
Me, glass always full, look on the bright side, always wanting to help others...this couldn't be happening to me and yet it is.
I don't know why but I am blue! I have been in a funk for a few months now and nothing is pulling me out. I have good moments but overall the dark moments are clouding those good ones.
I don't know what, why or how this is happening to me. I have a great life, awesome boys, a challenging and rewarding career and a husband whom I adore. On the outside, there is no reason to feel the way I do. On the inside there is nothing either. It isn't one thing or one person...in fact most of the time it is over nothing. "Why are you crying" "tell me what is on your mind". I can't answer these questions because I don't know the answer.
I need to bring myself back out from this place...I hate it, I hate who I've become, I hate I am not strong right now, I hate needing reasurrance, I hate that I frustrate my husband daily, I hate that I can go a day without crying.
Starting right now these are things I am going to start doing.
1. 30 minutes a day dedicated to just me. A walk/run, a trip to the farmers market (my favourite thing to do), go and sit at Starbucks and read, time in my craft room, a bath, etc. I will not consider my drive to and from work time for me nor will I consider slumped in front of the TV time for me.
This is much easier said than done and even as I am typing this I am bawling. So why am I choosing this avenue to express myself. I have to be honest. I need help...not just professionally (I am on top of that), I mean the help from friends and family. How, I don't know but I do know that my life is great and I have the power to fix this...hell I am a cancer survivor!